The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk

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REMAKE AN ICONIC 1960’S SITCOM?
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT’S WISE, SIR?

Unless you’ve just returned from a year on a remote Pacific atoll – and if you have, I’m not atoll jealous – you’ll know that a film, based on a 40-year-old television sitcom, is currently on release in cinemas.
“Love Thy Neighbour – The Movie” stars Samuel L. Jackson and Jim Davidson.
Just kidding!
It’s “Dad’s Army”, which boasts a stellar cast, including Swansea’s Catherine Zeta-Jones as Captain Mainwaring.
Just kidding again! She plays a suspected German spy.
Since I first heard it was in production I’ve been puzzled why its producers thought a film based on a TV sitcom set in the 1940s, that was first broadcast (in black and white!) in 1968 and ended in 1977, would be a potentially commercial venture.
Now you may say “Ah, but these film people know what they’re doing”, to which I would refer you to the words of esteemed screenwriter William Goldman
“Not one person in the entire motion picture field knows for a certainty what's going to work. Every time out it's a guess and, if you're lucky, an educated one.”
I hope the “Dad’s Army” film does well, but wonder if fans of the TV series will venture out cold winters nights to see an expanded version of a TV show that still gets respectable viewing figures for its Saturday night repeats on BBC 2 – which seem to have been running since the original series ended!
Film versions of TV sitcoms were very popular in the 1970s – indeed a “Dad’s Army” film was made in 1971 featuring the original cast and was a modest success.
Just before “Star Wars”, “Indiana Jones” and their sequels turned our studios around, these big screen ‘spin-offs’, made quickly and cheaply, kept an ailing British film industry busy.
However, most of them were terrible and are almost impossible to sit through today.
There were exceptions like “Porridge”, but there was much dross, like the three (yes...three!) “On The Buses” films and “Are You Being Served?” in which the staff of Grace Brothers all went on holiday to a Spain that strangely resembled a corner of Pinewood Studios.
If the new “Dad’s Army” film makes tons of money, could it start a new raft of big screen ‘spin offs’, such as “Citizen Khan” or “Benidorm”?
No, relax. It’s about as likely as, say, the BBC hiring Hollywood star Matt Le Blanc from “Friends” to co-host “Top Gear”.
Ooops!

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Don’t forget it . . .
I remember the days when you could only get petrol, oil and bags of coal from the local petrol station.
How times have changed!
Today, most petrol stations are as well stocked up as the supermarkets, which is a blessing in more ways than one for many men, especially as St Valentine’s Day is around the corner!
The last minute chocolates, cards and flowers can quite often save a relationship.
Having said that, Welsh men are actually quite lucky – we get St Dwynwen’s Day on the 25th January which I'm convinced was created as a three-week pre-warning just so we don't forget.
Perish the thought!
Last year, I decided to get that special person in my life some lovely flowers for St Valentine’s Day.
The landlord of my local was quite touched and displayed them in a vase on the bar.

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Use it or lose it is the motto:
As we get older it's so important to keep exercising in order to stay fit, flexible and healthy.
I’m sure I am not alone in hearing the snap, crackle and pop when I jump out of bed in the morning, unfortunately it's not my breakfast cereal, it's my knee joints warming up!
We are told to keep mobile by so many medical professionals on a daily basis, but how many of us manage to fit in some daily exercise?
Use it or lose it is the motto.
Now we can't argue with that!
Unfortunately, the challenges of today's daily living, plus the long, dark winter days and poor weather conditions does not help with the motivation needed to wrap up and get out there for some fresh air.
We can clearly see that phones are getting much smarter and thinner.
People, not so much.
Before you ask – I weigh 14st naked.
That's if the scales in Boots The Chemist is anything to go by.
My case comes up next Monday.

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk