The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
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People often come up to me and say things like...
“Do you write your own material or make it up as you go along - as it appears you do?”
And...
“If you’re a comedian, how come I never sees you on ‘Buzzcocks’ and ‘Nine Out Of Ten Cats?”
And my reply is always “Could you kindly close the bathroom door on the way out!”
Because I’m a patient man.
I once spent 48 hours waiting in A & E and didn’t complain. There was nothing wrong with me. I had no plans for the weekend and fancied mixing with new people.
If you think that all a comedian does is stand on a stage and tell jokes, you‘re sadly mistaken, even if you’re feeling happy.
They say happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. But it’s not legal tender in this country.
What can comedians do apart from tell jokes?
Well, as I’ve never learned the art of ventriloquism, I can only speak for myself. Organising comedy shows for clubs and theatres, to fly the flag for variety and live entertainment in Wales takes up a lot of my time.
I’ve gained a reputation for putting on successful comedy nights and my aim is to take them to every theatre in Wales.
It’s quite a challenge putting a show together that will appeal to all ages and tastes because when you put several comedians together on one bill, you have to find the right mix of performers with their own individual styles.
There’s no point me booking six comedians in smart suits who deliver razor sharp one-liners. By the time they’d all finished, in the minds of the audience, they’d all melded into one fast-taking, smart-ass.
So, it’s a delicate business, choosing the right balance of performers who will hopefully sell enough tickets to earn money for themselves, the venue and the very last person in line after everyone else has been paid . . . me.
As I do this all on my own, I’ve acquired a variety of skills along the way.
I have to be a PR Consultant; Advertising Executive; Promoter; Talent Scout; Impresario; Producer; Compere . . . and, when a comedian gets last-minute nerves and frantically looks for the nearest exit, a Psychologist, who calms them down by telling them the truth. I wouldn’t have put them on the bill if I didn’t think they were capable of getting big laughs.
And there’ll be plenty of big laughs on my next comedy night - at the Lyric Theatre Carmarthen on St. Dwynwen’s Day, Saturday January 24th at 8.00 pm.
The line-up includes Ignacio Lopez, Dan Glyn, Paul James, Karen Sherrard, Simon Emanuel, beat-boxer & rapper Ed “Mr Phormula” Holden and me.
Now that’s value for money!
Because St. Dwynwen was the Welsh St. Valentine, I’ve called it “The Love and Laughter Show”.
So you can also add ‘Clever Clogs’ to my list of skills.
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The weather and why can’t we cope:
It must have been cold last week, I saw a local councillor with his hands in his own pockets!
Have you noticed, as a nation, how everything seems to grind to a halt when we get a hint of snow, or the temperature drops to below freezing for a few days?
Wales seems to shut down when we get more than an inch of snow!
Supermarkets sell out of bread within an hour of Derek’s forecast... what is everyone doing with it? Building wholemeal igloos?
Roads grind to a halt, schools close leaving parents stuck for someone to pick the kids up and even when we all get excited at the prospect of a few days off work building snowmen and sledging down snowy hills, 24 hours later we are all trudging back to work through grey, slushy ice!
This week, Canada has been -17 degrees with snow and they still go about their day to day business.
Me and my huskies are thinking of emigrating there.... Cwtsh up and keep warm my friends!
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A&E:
It’s all over the news. Our hospitals are under pressure again, waiting times in A&E are getting longer and the ambulance queues outside are longer than the queue to buy a flat screen TV on Black Friday in Tescos.
But are we creating some of these problems ourselves? Are we simply going to A&E because it’s late and the GP is closed? On the very rare occasions that I have had to visit the Accident and Emergency department of a hospital, there are often people sitting there for a very long time looking relatively “well”.
Surely the clue is in the title? Accident and Emergency.
It’s been well publicised in the press and social media recently that there are many alternatives to simply popping into A&E.
Next time you have toothache or an upset tummy, ask yourself is A&E really the right choice?
I recently looked up my local health board website, there are a huge range of alternatives to blocking up your local emergency department with an illness that could easily and quickly be dealt with somewhere else....
Let’s help the hospitals to help us!
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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales
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