The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
I usually avoid joking about politics because it alienates a section of the audience who think the target of my joke is decent and trustworthy - even though he’s a politician.
But here’s a political joke that shouldn’t have anyone dipping their pen in green ink to protest.
“How do you know a politician‘s lying? His lips are moving!”
The political conference season is over for another year and once again the NHS has been in the spotlight.
Our Prime Minister ...what’s his face ... promised to keep it funded on a rate higher than inflation until 2020, which would be great news if there wasn’t a general election due in 2015 and he might not be around to keep his promise.
Every Prime Minister promises the NHS will be safe in his/her hands, knowing that if they reneged on this promise they’d probably end up in hospital - having their manifesto removed from their Parliamentary seat.
The NHS, created in 1948 by Aneurin Bevan, has evolved into a phenomenal organisation covering hospitals, general practice, preventative healthcare, mental health, medical research and so much more.
Few of us will pass through this life without having to use its services. But if you have a healthy lifestyle you have a fighting chance to avoid going into hospital. Though if you’re fighting at every chance, you’ll never avoid going into hospital.
If you’ve ever visited your local A & E Department on a Saturday night, waiting your turn while all around you is chaos, you’ll have seen that many cases were self-inflicted due to binge-drinking, smoking and overeating.
We need to cut down on drinking, give up smoking, take regular exercise...and eat less chips, cheeseburgers, bacon butties and deep-fried badger on a bed of crushed pomegranate and herb mash.
Or is that only me?
Clearly, the NHS has problems, but from personal experience the nurses and doctors at the sharp end are caring, hard working and committed individuals.
Hospital medical staff are true life-savers, stoic in the face of long shifts; bloated bureaucracy; a constant influx of patients; insufficient funding; a shortage of available hospital beds; sloppily-cleaned, unhygienic wards and the terrible diseases that fester in them....the list is endless.
The NHS is part of what makes Great Britain great and is being handled like a private company, with cost-cutting and viability exercises being carried out by well-paid bean counters who seemingly don’t give a thought about people in desperate need of life-saving treatment.
Like the Dalek who tried to make love to a dustbin, this is very short-sighted.
No one is immune to illness. Not even well-paid bean counters.
One day it might be their turn to be told they have a serious condition that requires them to take medication for the rest of their lives.
Will they then say ”But these drugs cost thirty thousand pounds a year! I really don’t think I should take them”?
Answers please, on the back of a prescription, to me at this newspaper.
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Well, well! Llanelli has its very own military style fitness boot camp. Who would have thought that?
G.I. Joe Personal Training take people who are out of condition (like me) and puts them through a military style fitness training routine, but in a fun way.
Some of this takes part on the beach, which at times does unfortunately include getting sand in places that may irritate and chaff, but that’s just the couch potato comedian speaking...
Here, we have an ex-military fitness instructor working with civilians to achieve personal fitness and weight loss goals. Yes, apparently getting fit can be fun!
He has more followers every week and everyone I spoke to who has taken part has said they are amazed and delighted with the results and their new found energy.
Having met Joe over coffee (skinny latte) and cake (low fat, sugar free of course), I soon discovered that he has a personality that is both engaging and encouraging, which is a magic formula to motivate even the laziest among us.
His clients have fun, laugh and enjoy, all this without a comedian in sight. I now feel guilty every time I look at a cake.
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The highlight of last week for me was being asked to host a fund raising event in Llangynidr New Village Hall near Crickhowell. This is a beautiful part of the country, picturesque and idyllic, but were they prepared for some entertainment Phil Evans style?
It was lovely to see such a great turn out for such a good cause, raising much needed funds for the local school.
At the end of the evening, I had to put all of my improvisation skills to the test, by hosting a “Mr & Mrs” style quiz show! Having never done this before I'm pleased to report that it was a hilarious end to the evening, thanks to the contestant and audience participation. Trust me; this was nothing like the old TV version and could have ended in tears.
Working unscripted with a live audience can be both challenging and rewarding, but the risk paid off and this is something that I would love to do again, ideally as a TV recording.
So next week I intend putting time to one side to contact show producers. Why not? Life is all about taking risks... you never know unless you give it a try!
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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales
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