Robert Lloyd - a Sir Gar Blog of random news . . . and some Clecs!

"This is a serious allegation. I fear you may be right. This is a British tradition that must not be lost. If I were running for office again, I'd make it a major part of any platform" - Tony Blair on being told it was impossible to buy a decent cup of tea in London any more. "I am flattered by the shoulders, slightly worried by the nose and a bit concerned that my colleagues in the House of Commons might acquire it so they can throw things at it" - Former Home Secretary David Blunkett admiring, by touch, a new bronze of himself. "If we called April May, and May April, the weather was absolutely seasonal. All we really need do to cope with climate change is alter the names of the month or rearrange them" - Best-selling author Frederick Forsyth. "He has already been seen wearing a pair of crumpled beige chinos and an open-neck shirt. I think it's safe to say that he will be having a buzz cut, before being snapped grooving on down at...

From Rotary Ball i...

"I was a member of a group called the Kissy Girls. I was very sexual in kindergarten. I created a game where I would kiss the boys. Then we would make out and we would take our clothes off. I got in a lot of trouble" - Angelina Jolie. "Oxford didn't teach me anything, nothing at all" - Nobel Prize-winning author VS Naipaul. "If they ever decide to sneak off and get married without us, me and Gav's mum and dad would kill them both" - Maria, mother of singer Charlotte Church who is engaged to Gavin Henson. "Defence Secretary Des Browne really did say, 'I have expressed a degree of regret that could be equated with an apology'. People should be hanged for this kind of thing" - Political pundit and former Tory MP Matthew Parris. "Plaskitt the Casket" - Nickname given to Work and Pensions Minister James Plaskitt who has been adjudged parliamentarian of the year by the National Association of Funeral Directors. ...

From Mum

"There is an enormous difference in what actually happened and what the imagination did to it" - Actress Anna Massey, on writing her autobiography. "The delicious irony is that my bitter enemies are going to operate the structures and mechanisms we put in place nine years ago. I shall enjoy that" - Lord (David) Trimble, former Leader of the Ulster Unionist Party on the forthcoming Ian Paisley-Gerry Adams "coalition". "It is futile to blame Margaret Beckett at the Foreign Office for not responding with a heavier hand. She had nothing in her hand. We don't dispatch gunboats to countries that poke us in the eye these days" - Tory peer Lord Deedes on the naval personnel captured by Iran. "I hope that even in Blair's Britain there will be no question of giving medals to any of these captives. They may deserve our pity, but they do not command our respect" - Former Fleet Street editor Sir Max Hastings on the conduct of the naval perso...

Barry Beelzebub - my favourite columnist