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Barry strikes again

Barry Beelzebub - my favourite columnist

Kathryn and her pals February 24

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Lord Elwyn Jones Memorial Lecture

Nia Griffith (Llanelli MP) - Lord Elwyn Jones Memorial Lecture for the WEA in Llanelli. This took place in Llanelli Town Hall. Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, Noswaith dda Boneddigion.a Boneddigesau It is a great pleasure and honour to be here this evening, giving the Lord Elwyn Jones memorial lecture. Lord Elwyn Jones, a son of whom Llanelli can be rightly very proud served his fellow citizens as a Labour MP for 29 years, rising to become Attorney General and Later Lord Chancellor. I will return later in my lecture to say a few words about him. Well, if you are sitting comfortably, then I’ll begin. So Politicians, saints or sinners? Which do you want to hear about, the saints or the sinners? Saints you said – well, that’s obviously because you are hoping to go home early, because of course there’s not much to say about the saints. The sinners, they are far more interesting – that’s what sells papers, that’s what k...

Quotes that caught my eye

“In all marriages, the petrol eventually runs out of the tank and the engine goes dry. We were not meant to mate forever” – Entertainer Ruby Wax in her role as an agony aunt. “We could turn into the Belgian Navy. If we do, I’m gone” – Sir Jonathon Band, the First Sea Lord, protesting about spending cuts in the Royal Navy. “I could never be with a man who does nothing except look like a horse” - Reported remark by Petra Ecclestone, daughter of Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone, on Prince William. “Tony Blair is impressed by wealth, uniforms, intelligence officers and religious people” – Lord Kinnock, Labour’s former leader. “In my heart, I don’t think he’ll get it. He’ll be livid as he has been nominated eight times” – Actor Leslie Phillips on the prospects of Peter O’Toole getting an Oscar for his role in the film Venus in which the two veterans co-star. “Before I met him, I wasted so much time. I was just annoying and narcissistic, and smelt bad” – Actress Anne Hathaway on her boyfri...

Quotes of the day

Quotes of the day “If I was angry enough, my inner Scotsman would come out” – Actor Ewan McGregor, when asked whether he could look after himself in a fight. “Never should it be said that Rod Stewart hasn’t done his bit for female emancipation. He’s seen more sex than a policeman’s torch” – Dylan Jones, editor of GQ magazine. “I love macs but I worry that they make me look like a flasher” – Actor and comic Johnny Vegas. “Once you take your relationship into the public arena, it is a bit like dancing with the devil, and you should expect to suffer the consequences” - Actress Sophia Myles. “I like living in a town where people still point at aeroplanes in the sky. Bolton is the kind of place where I can wear my slippers down to the chip shop” - Comedian Peter Kay. “This is euphemism gone mad. And where does it leave that pillar of society, the ‘working man’? Out in the cold as far as the Government is concerned” – Sir Terry Wogan, on the use of the term “working girls” for prostitut...

First words I like

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy The primroses were over. - Richard Adams, Watership Down Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her. - Jane Austen, Emma It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters. - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice Dr Iannis had enjoyed a satisfactory day in which none of his...

Look for the pun

These are a few statements just for fun, look for the pun and you may find them funny! "I need a pencil sharpener" said Tracey bluntly "Oops!! There goes my hat" said Tammi off the top of her head "I can no longer hear anything" said Tracey deftly "I have a split personality" said Mark being frank "This must be an aerobics class" Trisha worked out! "I only have diamonds, clubs and spades" said beth heartlessly "Don't add too much water!" Said Darren with great concentration ""Your fly is undone" Was Marcs zippy re - joiner "Its not fair" said Trisha darkly "I haven't had any tooth decay yet" said kelly precariously