The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.

www.philevans.co.uk

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Even though in the minds of the public, a comedian lives a life devoted to creating an atmosphere of laughter, merriment and joyfulness, it may surprise you that that there are times when we’re just as grumpy as everyone else.
And it can take the smallest thing to make comedian Phil Evans grumpy. From the pain of getting an unexpectedly large bill through my letterbox to the even bigger pain of getting a finger unexpectedly caught in my letterbox.
But those dark clouds of grumpiness usually appear when I’ve come off stage having failed to create an atmosphere of laughter, merriment and joyfulness.
Because my shoulders are broad - and my stomach’s starting to expand slightly, too - I’m able to take a philosophical overview of what happened...and always blame the audience.
It’s hardly objective, but it saves me worrying and I can be home in time for ‘Family Guy’.
However, although my episodes of grumpiness used to be well-spaced apart, last week I suddenly realised that I was officially becoming a grumpy old man when I found myself shouting one word, over and over, at the BBC Breakfast programme as a result of something a reporter had said.
It’s alright. The word I was shouting wasn’t rude.
I was shouting “Research! Research! Research!”
Because not only did the BBC reporter mispronounce the word as ‘Ree-search’, but the two presenters on the sofa who introduced the reporter also said ‘Ree-search’.
I was so annoyed I bit through two slices of toast at the same time.
Everyone in the media now incorrectly emphasises the first syllable of the word as ‘Ree-search’ and it’s now ingrained as the correct way to say it.
But unless you’re an American, it ain’t!
I was being ironic with the ‘ain’t’ by the way.
But it gets worse...
During that same BBC Breakfast show, another reporter mispronounced the word ‘resources’ as ‘ree-sources’, again incorrectly emphasising the first syllable, American-style.
By now I was so annoyed I bit through the plate which held my two slices of toast.
But it gets worse.
There’s an annoying speech and spelling error in current use which drives me crazy.
I don’t know how it happened but I hear it all the time in the street and have seen it written down by ‘on-line’ posters.
Maybe their excuse is a poor education, but I didn’t think I’d ever hear it on a BBC news programme.
I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard BBC Breakfast’s Steph McGovern blithely say to a reporter
“You should of....” instead of “You should have!”
That’s sloppy grammar, girl! Write out 100 times....
We don’t say, “You should of been here earlier/”
We say, “You should have been here earlier.”
By now I’d bitten through two slices of toast, my plate and the kitchen table.
So I poured myself another cup of tea and calmed down.
Until a male reporter appeared on my screen...without a tie!
Now don’t get me started on reporters who don’t wear ties....

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Urdd:
More often than not, youngsters are given a hard time and labelled as lazy, sit around in front of computer games all day and are generally moody.
On Saturday, at the Amman Valley Comprehensive school, this couldn’t have been further from the truth.
With a whole host of schools competing in the Urdd National Eisteddfod heats, I had the pleasure to witness some outstanding performances, from one of the most talented group of children I think I have ever seen.
This event is leading up to one of the largest national cultural youth festivals – The Urdd National Eisteddfod, to be held in Caerphilly, between 25 and 30th May, 2015.
The enthusiasm of the children and their hunger to entertain was a pleasure to watch. Children, parents and teachers must have dedicated so much time to perfecting the songs, poetry and performances and this shone through as I was thoroughly entertained all day.
This is all about the celebration of the Welsh language and culture. The children put so much emphasis and confidence into their performances it really didn’t matter what language they were speaking; it was mesmerising. Da iawn indeed!

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Welsh Peaks Challenge:
Members of the G.I. Joe Personal Training fitness-family from Llanelli are taking on the Welsh Three Peaks Challenge in June.
This will involve walking up (and back down!) Cadair Idris, Snowdon and Pen y Fan in 12 hours or less, a total distance of 16 miles and making a total ascent of around 2000m in some of the most remote landscape in Wales.
The reason behind this incredible feat?
To raise much needed funds for the local charity, Week on The Street.
GI Joe’s aim is also to help people realise that being fit and healthy isn’t just based on completing marathons, going to the gym every day or being on a diet all your life. It’s about being imaginative, enjoying yourself and having a bit of fun!
There are people from all walks of life and fitness levels taking part, but leading them on this challenge are instructors Joe Williams and Gareth Evans, both of whom have already climbed Snowdon at the start of March in some very poor conditions.
I’m off for coffee and cake now; I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Good luck, guys!

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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