The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post
The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post -
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
“You can’t beat a bit of bully!” said Jim Bowen on the much-missed ‘Bullseye’ which I still associate with the Sunday teatime aroma of beetroot, cheese, boiled eggs, cucumber, ham and tomatoes. My gran never did know how to make Welsh stew (cawl)!
And it seems we really can’t beat bullies because they’re everywhere.
Cyber-bullies, playground bullies, work-place bullies, gay-bashing bullies- even celebrity bullies.
When the fragrant, immaculately-coiffed Cheryl Fernandez-Versini (aka ‘Biffer’ Cole the famous mime artiste) starts getting wobbly-chinned and weepy over a singer strangling a power ballad on “X Factor”, she’s hoping you’ve forgotten her well-reported encounter with a female nightclub toilet attendant.
It was the attendant who was female, not the nightclub. Being a building, it was gender-free. I just wanted to clear that up. Which may well have been what the toilet attendant said to Biffer at the time.
When Biffer, who trained at ‘Putting-In-The-Boot-Camp’, replied “You’re going through”, she meant a window.
We’ve all read in the newspapers about children who’ve been bullied so relentlessly by their wicked classmates that they saw suicide as the only way to escape it. Can you imagine what hell those children must have gone through day after day to reach a state where they decided the only way to stop the violence and humiliation was to end their young lives?
Tragic doesn’t begin to describe it. I only hope that those responsible for the needless deaths of their class mates have their dreams haunted forever by what they did.
When I read these stories and then hear head teachers say “We have no bullying in my school’ I feel like saying, “Take off those rose tinted spectacles!” because, just like when I was in school, if you happen to be slight of build or look or behave ‘different’, the likelihood is you’ll get picked on at some point.
I had no fear of school bullies and stood up for myself and the weaker kids who’d been the victims of bullying.
Sometimes a bully would back down after I’d had a few well-chosen words with him, but invariably there were times when the real hard cases thought they could take me on . . . which led to me getting into many scrapes.
So many, in fact, that when I’m asked what qualifications I left school with, my answer is “Just the one; a Black Belt” (to hold my trousers up, of course)!
Since the days of the court jester, it’s been the job of the comedian to prick the balloon of pomposity and to put in their place those in high office who lord it over us a little too smugly. If a well-aimed spear of truth, in the shape of a clever gag, can persuade these people to start treating the rest of us with more respect, I’m continuing the work I did back when I was a lad, standing-up to the school bullies.
Except that, today, I stand-up in front of an audience and (sometimes) get paid for it!
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I was thrilled to learn this week that Llanelli Little Theatre company are rehearsing a new comedy play to be shown at the towns Ffwrnes Theatre on 27th & 28th November.
The play, directed by Kathy Bowen, is Fawlty Towers. My spies inform me that rehearsals are even more challenging than usual...but thankfully due to the constant uncontrollable laughter.
Fawlty Towers is TV comedy gold and I am in no doubt that this play will also be an amazing success. It has been written by John Cleese and Connie Booth, the original stars of the classic TV series, who are hailed as two of the best writers in the world of comedy.
The Llanelli Little Theatre Company are renowned for delivering quality entertainment. Their actors would rival any cast that you would see on a West End stage.
But remember this, an actors success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a petrol tank with a naked flame.
Without your support, it doesn't happen. This is most definitely on my list of things to see in November, why not make it one of yours too?
Check out www:Carmarthenshiretheatres.co.uk for further information.
----------------------
The highlight of last week for me was a show that I did at the Usk Vale in Newport, Gwent, with fellow comedians Ignacio Lopez and Karen Sherrard.
This was a comedy line up of totally different styles and characters, just like the good old days, variety as its very best.
This wasn’t the first time I’d played here and to hear a few days before that it was a sell out was music to my ears; it makes such a difference to have something other than tables and chairs to work with.
As the years go on I now firmly believe that an act is only as good as its audience and for an ideal outcome to an evening’s entertainment both parties must engage to make the night a success. The audience at Usk Vale was engaging and a pleasure to perform to.
But let us never forget. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.
So, if you were there on the night please don't share the big secret and give the game away. Let the rest of the world buy a ticket just like you did and discover a good night of entertainment for themselves!
----------
You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
“You can’t beat a bit of bully!” said Jim Bowen on the much-missed ‘Bullseye’ which I still associate with the Sunday teatime aroma of beetroot, cheese, boiled eggs, cucumber, ham and tomatoes. My gran never did know how to make Welsh stew (cawl)!
And it seems we really can’t beat bullies because they’re everywhere.
Cyber-bullies, playground bullies, work-place bullies, gay-bashing bullies- even celebrity bullies.
When the fragrant, immaculately-coiffed Cheryl Fernandez-Versini (aka ‘Biffer’ Cole the famous mime artiste) starts getting wobbly-chinned and weepy over a singer strangling a power ballad on “X Factor”, she’s hoping you’ve forgotten her well-reported encounter with a female nightclub toilet attendant.
It was the attendant who was female, not the nightclub. Being a building, it was gender-free. I just wanted to clear that up. Which may well have been what the toilet attendant said to Biffer at the time.
When Biffer, who trained at ‘Putting-In-The-Boot-Camp’, replied “You’re going through”, she meant a window.
We’ve all read in the newspapers about children who’ve been bullied so relentlessly by their wicked classmates that they saw suicide as the only way to escape it. Can you imagine what hell those children must have gone through day after day to reach a state where they decided the only way to stop the violence and humiliation was to end their young lives?
Tragic doesn’t begin to describe it. I only hope that those responsible for the needless deaths of their class mates have their dreams haunted forever by what they did.
When I read these stories and then hear head teachers say “We have no bullying in my school’ I feel like saying, “Take off those rose tinted spectacles!” because, just like when I was in school, if you happen to be slight of build or look or behave ‘different’, the likelihood is you’ll get picked on at some point.
I had no fear of school bullies and stood up for myself and the weaker kids who’d been the victims of bullying.
Sometimes a bully would back down after I’d had a few well-chosen words with him, but invariably there were times when the real hard cases thought they could take me on . . . which led to me getting into many scrapes.
So many, in fact, that when I’m asked what qualifications I left school with, my answer is “Just the one; a Black Belt” (to hold my trousers up, of course)!
Since the days of the court jester, it’s been the job of the comedian to prick the balloon of pomposity and to put in their place those in high office who lord it over us a little too smugly. If a well-aimed spear of truth, in the shape of a clever gag, can persuade these people to start treating the rest of us with more respect, I’m continuing the work I did back when I was a lad, standing-up to the school bullies.
Except that, today, I stand-up in front of an audience and (sometimes) get paid for it!
------------------------------
I was thrilled to learn this week that Llanelli Little Theatre company are rehearsing a new comedy play to be shown at the towns Ffwrnes Theatre on 27th & 28th November.
The play, directed by Kathy Bowen, is Fawlty Towers. My spies inform me that rehearsals are even more challenging than usual...but thankfully due to the constant uncontrollable laughter.
Fawlty Towers is TV comedy gold and I am in no doubt that this play will also be an amazing success. It has been written by John Cleese and Connie Booth, the original stars of the classic TV series, who are hailed as two of the best writers in the world of comedy.
The Llanelli Little Theatre Company are renowned for delivering quality entertainment. Their actors would rival any cast that you would see on a West End stage.
But remember this, an actors success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a petrol tank with a naked flame.
Without your support, it doesn't happen. This is most definitely on my list of things to see in November, why not make it one of yours too?
Check out www:Carmarthenshiretheatres.co.uk for further information.
----------------------
The highlight of last week for me was a show that I did at the Usk Vale in Newport, Gwent, with fellow comedians Ignacio Lopez and Karen Sherrard.
This was a comedy line up of totally different styles and characters, just like the good old days, variety as its very best.
This wasn’t the first time I’d played here and to hear a few days before that it was a sell out was music to my ears; it makes such a difference to have something other than tables and chairs to work with.
As the years go on I now firmly believe that an act is only as good as its audience and for an ideal outcome to an evening’s entertainment both parties must engage to make the night a success. The audience at Usk Vale was engaging and a pleasure to perform to.
But let us never forget. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.
So, if you were there on the night please don't share the big secret and give the game away. Let the rest of the world buy a ticket just like you did and discover a good night of entertainment for themselves!
----------
You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales
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