Emails ha-ha

SUITABLY refreshed by their half-term hols, a small (but dedicated and anonymous) band of teachers has now resumed their comic email transmissions from the staffrooms of Llanelli's secondary schools.
Here are a few of the funnies that beat the email firewall to land here at Star HQ in Cowell Street.
Murphy's Lesser Known Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
The next one could get me into trouble with the head of the Lloyd household, but here goes anyway . . .
Why Men Are Happier Than Women
1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
6. The world is our urinal.
7. Same work, more pay.
8. Wrinkles add character.
9. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
10. New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
11. One mood, ALL the time.
12. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
13. We know stuff about tanks.
14. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
15. We can open all our own jars.
16. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
17. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
18. We dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
19. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
20. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
21. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
22. We can do our nails with a pocket-knife.
23. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes

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