The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.


Fish have accents!

Traditionally, the ‘silly season’ in the newspaper world occurs during August, when the House of Commons benches breathe a creaking sigh of relief from not having to support the weight of 650 bums.
You can interpret the use of the word ‘bums’ any way you prefer.
During this period, the ‘papers print lightweight stories that would never appear any other time of the year.
Like the one that regularly turns up concerning a tourist who’s definitely, positively seen the Loch Ness Monster.
Despite the availability of state-of-the-art cameras and lenses, the accompanying ‘photo always resembles an oil slick filmed through a mosquito net . . . in the dark!
Last week, as I started reading a newspaper article, it seemed the silly season had been extended to October.
As I continued reading, it became apparent that, bizarrely, the article was 100% genuine.
The University of Exeter has spent a considerable amount of time and resources (i.e. money) studying the fish that live in our coastal waters and have come up with the theory that - please don’t raise a hot drink to your lips as you read this next line or you could have a nasty accident - cod talk to each other in regional accents!
No, it’s not you.
The world does go a little crazier every week.
Presumably some highly-paid academic with very little to occupy his time and incredible intellect, one day pondered “Hmm . . . I wonder if the fish swimming around the British Isles can talk to each other? And could they have local accents?”
If you or I had thought that, we’d have sensibly kept it to ourselves and even more sensibly, immediately dismissed it.
But, academics need to keep themselves busy to justify their annual funding, so they proceeded – I have no idea how they went about it – to study ‘fish speak’ and discovered that cod swimming off the coast of Cornwall communicate with each other in an accent that differs from the cod swimming off the coast of Liverpool.
Yes, really.
Academics are worried that if the Southern cod meet the Northern cod they won’t be able to understand each other- which could threaten their chances of mating.
That’s the difference between humans and cod.
We aren’t put off from enjoying a little ‘romantic encounter’ by the sound of a regional accent.
Frankly, I can’t decide whether this study was eel-advised or just a load of old codswallop.


Will Llawerch – Celtic Fury:

It's not often I get to sit down and read a good book, but sometimes I'll glance at the first few pages of a book that I think I might like . . . and I'm hooked.
If you are a lover of Celtic History, then Welsh actor and author Will Llawerch is the one for you.
The way he writes in his latest book, Celtic Fury, takes you back to the time of the Roman invasion and if, like me, you have a vivid imagination, his writing can actually make you feel like you are there.
Amidst an epic backdrop, two young Celts find themselves torn between tribal duty, love, war, passion and revenge as they fight not only for their lives but for their cultures very existence.
Sounds a bit like Wind Street on a Saturday night doesn't it?
If escapism is what's missing in your life, then you need to read this.
Come to think of it, I don't read enough books.
I'm going to make an effort to pop to my local library and see what they have on offer.
I'd love to hear about your favourite books. Get in touch and let me know!



This week, I came across something on social media and thought ,“Damn, I wish I'd have thought of that.”
I read that an enterprising young couple from Lampeter, James Kendall and Lea Wakeman have created a new outdoor game for children that combines bushcraft and survival skills, inspired by one of their favourite computer games.
Wildcraft Adventure aims to get children off their computer screens and into the great outdoors.
Absolute genius!
Wildcraft borrows themes from popular video games like Minecraft and is giving youngsters an outdoor experience they won’t forget.
Though barely a year old, it’s been a huge hit with parents and children alike.
This new game is getting children out to woods, parks and green spaces with not an iPad or tablet in sight.
I wonder if there is an age limit as I really fancy a go of this?
Anything that gets our children off their computers and out into the fresh air is a hit with me, reading the feedback from children that have taken part I can only see this venture going from strength to strength!
Da iawn!

You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and


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