The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post - 

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
Only in Wales can you take your T-shirt off after a day in Mumbles and still look like you’ve got a white T-shirt on.
We’re a nation of red faces and arms in this weather: the other white bits don’t get a look in.
There is a sudden urge to bake skin that hasn’t seen sun for months.
And what happens then?
We spend an evening slapping on the ‘after sun’ lotion, moaning like hell and blocking up A&E waiting rooms . . .
The comic punchline is –
Sunburn: It’s getting what you basked for!
Anyone remember the Radio 1 roadshow coming to a seaside town near you?
I can remember having awful sunstroke, feeling like I was going to pass out, knotting a hankie on my head but still managing to complete the ‘Bits and Pieces’ segment like my life depended on it.
By the way, the Radio 1 DJ Peter Powell was a lot shorter in real life, too . . .
How we used to amuse ourselves in the summer . . .
The way we dress in Wales during the summer is always a great source of amusement – well it is to me, at any rate as I’m a great people watcher.
Beige socks and sandals!
Now there’s one of my all-time favourites, but a very close second must be the larger lady’s urge to squeeze herself into leggings.
It’s a bit like your Nan’s tights filled up with custard!
Trips to the beach used to be a major outing.
Up early, mam making egg sandwiches which just wouldn’t taste the same unless they had sand on them, gallons of warm orange squash.
I can remember going on a ‘mystery tour’ when I was little.
It felt like we were going abroad. It took nearly all day to get there sitting inside a bus that felt like we’d been crammed into of one of Jenkins Bakery’s ovens.
It turned out to be to Barry Island.
It was an unforgettable day: if only kids today were so easily pleased!
Meanwhile, there is a serious side to all this messing around in the sun.
Cases of skin cancer have risen alarmingly in the UK since the 1970s.
Cancer Research UK statistics show more than 13,000 people develop malignant melanoma each year, compared with around 1,800 in the mid-1970s.
Sunbed use has fuelled the increase, the charity has said.
Malignant melanoma is now the fifth most common cancer, with more than 2,000 dying from it each year.
Around 17 people in every 100,000 are diagnosed with the disease in Great Britain every year - compared with three per 100,000 in the mid 1970s.
It’s alarming stuff – so the message to you all this summer is take care, cover up and slap on the lotion.
Finally, have you noticed that spray tans and orange people are on the increase?
They are everywhere.
I’m told that wherever you are in the UK you are no more than six foot away from a rodent.
Now the same can be said about people with spray tans.
Just sayin’ . . .

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There are so many secret places in Wales.
I'm sure you know of a few and have a few special ones in your heart.
It’s been interesting to watch the results of a recent National Trust appeal to get the public to nominate their favourite locations.
Our scenery in Wales is faultless, but there are some fab places which may not offer stunning landscapes. They are some of our favourite theatres and venues.
Last weekend, I performed with a few of my comedy chums in such a place.
Neath Little Theatre is run by a handful of loyal volunteers and they put on some amazing productions throughout the year.
It’s not a big theatre, but the homely atmosphere is perfect and plenty big enough to bring you some great shows, while helping to keep the magic of live entertainment going strong in the area.
I was performing alongside Ignacio Lopez, Simon Emanuel and Karen Sherrard.
This was a ‘Comedy Sheep’ production – you shouldn’t have to ask about the name; this is Wales and it’s a Welsh thing!
The event was very well supported by the local community. It was one of the best nights of comedy we have done this year and both the audience and comedians connected from the off.
Neath Little Theatre – jot the name down. And don’t keep the place a secret!

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If you were lucky enough to visit the Dinefwr Literature Festival in Llandeilo, then you would have had an amazing time and experienced some truly talented performances.
My close friend and comedy buddy Daniel Glyn shared the event with the likes of Charlotte Church, Gruff Rhys, Huw Stephens, Elis James, Jeremy Hardy and Daniel Kitson, to name but a few.
(Memo to self: as discussed with Tom Cruise, must stop name-dropping!)
Reports and feedback suggest the event was as outstanding success and support was good.
It’s good to hear this feedback as it will, hopefully, encourage towns and villages throughout Wales to host future events and embrace the fact that quality performers and talent will draw people together with a view to supporting live and grass roots entertainment.
I caught up with my mate Daniel Glyn after the festival.
He labelled Dinefwr as one of the coolest festivals in Wales, packed full of variety, including comedy, bands, spoken word performances, kids shows, and with something to entertain just about everyone.
It wasn’t full of stuffy writers talking non-stop about books (although this service is readily available if that’s your thing!).
I guess, it’s a bit like Hay on Wye, but without the quiche.
A frequently asked question during the festival was “What’s Charlotte Church doing here?”
I think even Charlotte herself was overheard asking the very same thing at one point . . .

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales