The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk


------------------------------------------

AM I A STICK-IN-THE-MUD?
BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE STUCK IN THE MUD?

Every summer around this time, our newspapers run variations of these headlines . . .
“Glastonbury – A Wash-Out!”
“They’re Having A Muddy Good Time At Glasto!” - accompanied by a photograph of smiling girls in cut-off jeans and designer wellies.
And “5,000 Festival Goers Eaten Alive By Mutated Sewage Monster Lurking Beneath Portable Toilets!”
Okay, we don’t see that one every year.
But the chaos of Glastonbury 2016 began early, as reported in the media . . .
Glastonbury had a miserable start as traffic chaos and wet weather prompted organiser Michael Eavis and police to warn ticket-holders against travelling to the site. Long queues of vehicles were building up around Worthy Farm in Pilton, where about 180,000 revellers were expected to attend one of the highlights of the musical calendar. One festival-goer admitted “What should have taken me four hours to get here has taken me 20!”
Delays, torrential rain and mud baths inevitably happen on the first day of the festival, but the firm warning to “Stay away!” came four days before Glasto-Enteritus 2016 kicked-off!
Perhaps the early arrivals were anxious to be the first in the queue for the porta-loos. Well who’d want to be last in the queue?
Every year the photos and the TV news reports show the horrible conditions, how uncomfortable it must be trying to sleep in a tent pitched on cold, squelchy mud and - if you’re surrounded by 179,000 other people - I needn’t go into detail how difficult it must be to perform even the most basic ablutions.
So, why do people put themselves through it?
I like rock and pop music, but even when I was younger I couldn’t see the appeal of sitting half-a-mile from the stage - with the sound drifting in whichever direction the wind was blowing – making it impossible to tell whether the performers on stage were Keith Richards and Mick Jagger or Keith Harris and Orville.
Forget tents, groundsheets and primus stoves. When I take a holiday, I stay in a hotel with a comfy bed and a power shower.
Glasto-style ‘glamping’ for me is watching the Sunday ‘Legend’ act on TV with a pot of tea and a packet of choccie biscuits.
However, I suppose the 180,000 who made the effort, will have had their dampened spirits cheered-up no end by the Saturday and Sunday headliners, who were . . . just let me check . . . Adele and Coldplay.
Umm . . . maybe not . . .

--------------------

EU:

The news of late has been nothing but the EU referendum result.
Suddenly, we have all become political experts.
It's a fact - most people don't consider the source of the media information they are exposed to before making a decision.
The masses have always been lead by a small group of clever and cunning men in power.
This has and will always be the case.
History does repeat itself - there is always a 'tipping point'.
This can also be said for job satisfaction and relationships.
I once read a fascinating book called Tipping Point - and following the EU referendum result now understand a bit more clearly that change only occurs when people are unhappy.
Something worth remembering.
Right - I'm off now to build an air raid shelter out the back garden and stock up on supplies- just in case.
Mark my words neither will be needed.
Just sayin’ . . .

------------------------

Fun to come:

Having just read ‘What's On in Swansea’, I'm extremely impressed with what's coming up in and around our area over the next six weeks.
There are indoor and outdoor activities that won't break the bank and events that include the whole family.
I think the ultimate up-and-coming event for me has to be the Swansea Air Show weekend.
The thrill and excitement of seeing the Red Arrows flying over Swansea seafront makes the hairs on the back of my neck tingle.
How do they pull off those manoeuvres?
Practise, commitment and dedication, enabling them to think as a team with each one knowing how the other thinks.
Discipline at the highest level.
Now then – what do I need to do to get a ride in one of those planes?

-------------------------

You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Two 'Rising Stars' from Loud Applause Productions off to The Netherlands

Dead swan at Sandy Water Park, Llanelli

Could you be the next Richard Branson or Alan Sugar?