The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk
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A National Disgrace:

Have you ever heard an item being read out during a radio news bulletin and it took you a moment for it to sink in properly?
It happens quite a lot to me, because I’m usually doing something else at the same time as listening to the news on the radio – like reading the news in my daily paper or on my iPad.
I prefer to listen to the TV news rather than watch it, because so many newsreaders have irritating habits that detract from the job they’re employed to do.
When reading the news, Huw Edwards can’t look into the camera lens for more than a minute before giving in to a compulsion to cast his eyes downwards and to his left.
It’s like he’s being distracted by a TV set under his desk that’s featuring a more interesting and less pompous newsreader than himself.
If you haven’t noticed his infuriating habit yet, you will from now on!
Last week, I was in bed changing a wheel on my mountain bike and listening to a news bulletin on BBC Radio Wales. The last news item before the sports report was one of those stories that took me a moment to take in.
Thousands of British children who rely on being served breakfast and lunch during the school term are going hungry in the school holidays and at weekends.
I couldn’t believe my ears.
In 2016, children are going hungry in Great Britain – the fifth richest country in the world?
So, I did some research and it turned out to be perfectly true.
Frank Field, the Labour MP who led the UK Inquiry into Hunger and Food Poverty and published the Feeding Britain report, said that grown-up politicians find it easier to be silent while all too many poor children go hungry.
He also said there’s been a conspiracy of silence and that ‘School holiday hunger’ is the one great unmentionable in British politics.
Un-flipping-mention-able?
It’s a national disgrace that can’t be mentioned enough.
Sixty-four percent of the British population are obese because they eat too much junk.
The living proof can be seen waddling along every street and supermarket aisle.
Yet thousands of children wake up in the school holidays and there’s no loaf in the bread bin. No cereals in the cupboard. No milk in the fridge.
Can someone please explain this wickedly unfair conundrum to me?

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This time of year:

Don't you just love nature and waking up on a sunny Sunday morning to lawnmower and petrol strimmers howling in the background?
Yes, I bet you do.
Having done a late night gig, Sunday morning is the only chance I get to have that extra hour of quality rest to recover from the demands of the weekend – but clearly others among us have their own ideas.
Everyone is entitled to a well-kept back yard and a neatly-trimmed bush, but my neighbour takes this too far and has invested in one of those high powered, turbo-charged, petrol-driven hedge cutters and his enthusiasm for this new gadget has meant that the whole street wakes up early to find out where the noise is coming from.
I honestly thought that a Formula One racing team had relocated their practice sessions to Ammanford.
But don't worry about me, I've sorted it and will be ready for next weekend as I've invested in a large box of ear plugs.

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Inspiration:

Isn't the power of music incredible?
Catching up with Saturday night TV, I came across one of the most inspirational sights I've seen in a long time.
The gospel choir that appeared on Britain’s Got Talent on Saturday night blew that audience away.
Their stage presence and enthusiasm for what they were doing had everyone including the judges mesmerised.
To see so many people on their feet, clapping, singing and dancing along was an incredible sight.
The power of music has the ability to take us back to certain times and places and evoke incredible memories, both good and bad.
Music can make you smile, it can make you cry, but this performance on Saturday was one of the most uplifting and positive things I have seen for a long time.
So, next time you are feeling a bit low, I dare you to put on your favourite uplifting song and dance around the living room like no one is watching.
Just don't forget to shut the curtains first, in case the neighbours call the police!

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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