The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk
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Another year older. The bucket list.
You may not know this, but we’ve got a lot to thank Patty Hill and her sister Mildred for - and Preston Ware Orem and Mrs. R.R. Forman, too.
If they hadn’t been born, just imagine this scenario . . .
It’s your birthday, you have a houseful of friends and relations knocking back the Prosecco and scoffing party goodies like mini-pasties, sandwiches, crisps and vol-au-vents – which is French for vomit-filled tarts.
You even have those little things on sticks. What are they called? Pensioners!
Calm down. It’s an old joke. Move on . . .
Someone dims the lights, a cake complete with lit candles is produced, the cake is cut into slices . . . and then everyone goes home.
The more astute among you will have noticed something important was missing from that cosy picture.
Nobody sang “Happy Birthday To You”.
Fortunately, the four people mentioned in the first paragraph were born, because in 1893 the Hill sisters composed the melody for a song they called “Good Morning To You” and in 1935 new lyrics were penned by Orem and Forman.
Since when, their combined effort “Happy Birthday To You” has been sung at millions of birthday celebrations and it’s still in copyright.
I only mentioned “Happy Birthday” because today, July 22, is my birthday.
I’ll pause a moment while you sing the song to me.
I’m not saying how old I am, but if I had a candle on my cake for every year I’ve been alive, fire alarms would go off for a two-mile radius.
As I get older, birthdays come around quicker every year.
It’s an illusion, of course, fuelled by the fact I lead a very busy life and make the most out of every day.
Maybe time would slow down for me if I lounged around watching reality TV shows featuring Z-list celebrities every night?
Nah! I’d rather not take the chance.
At my age, birthdays are a time for reflection. What have I achieved since the last one? What amazing thing can I do before the next one - if I make it to the next one?
Which brings me to bucket lists . . .
Exciting things people want to achieve before they kick the bucket, like sky-diving...shark-hunting...running with the bulls at Pamplona...and climbing Everest.
Ironically, they don’t realise that every time they engage in one of those dangerous activities, they bring that bucket a little bit closer to their foot!
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Summer Car Journeys:
It's that time of year every parent dreads, the summer car journey with the kids!
I read this week that a report from The Highways Agency said that typically children start to ask “are we nearly there yet” after two hours and 23 minutes. They row after two hours and 37 minutes.
I seem to remember it usually used to start before we'd even left the end of our street, at about 2 minutes and five seconds!
I can remember the very hot summer car journeys, the days of no seat belts, no motorway service stations and a free felt pen when you put £5 worth of petrol in the car!
Barry Island was almost as exciting (and took almost as long to get to) as going abroad.
We were easily pleased back then!
A day on the beach, no sun cream, egg sandwiches with bits of sand in and warm orange squash. Not a McDonald’s in sight.
How times have changed!
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Laugharne:
Last weekend, I visited a well known little fishing village, namely Laugharne.
On entering the village I came face to face with a poster of a TV comedian by the name of Omid Djalili, which came as a bit of a surprise.
Apparently Laugharne had a rather successful comedy festival, great stuff!
This beautiful area is probably best known as the former home of Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas.
This is where he created some of his finest work and, with the peaceful, spectacular surroundings and views from his boathouse, it’s very easy to see why he became so inspired to write such timeless classics here.
The locals are extremely warm and friendly, to the point where I’m sure if I had just walked into someone’s home and made myself a cup of tea they would have welcomed it and probably thrown in a Welsh Cake!
The whole place has a warm, friendly feeling that you can only find in a small Welsh village such as this . . . magic!
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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk
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