The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.

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“The falling leaves drift by my window. The autumn leaves of red and gold”. 

‘Autumn Leaves’. A beautiful song. Music by Joseph Koma. Words by Johnny Mercer. 

But it’s always concerned me that as Johnny gazed out of his window, creating those sublime lyrics, he ignored the potential havoc the falling leaves were capable of wreaking in his backyard.
If they’d clogged his drains, they’d have created a flood hazard which he’d only become aware of when water started seeping over his front doorstep during the next heavy downpour.
You can tell Autumn’s a worrying season for me...
It makes other people anxious too, as it heralds the arrival of overcast skies, high winds, rain, shorter days and longer nights, creating a ’Sorrowful season of dark, dismal, dread. It’s ochre smudged, mud-trudged landscape wallowing in a silted sea of soul-sapping sadness’, to quote the famous poet.
I can’t remember his name, but he updates his work every week in the Gents at Pont Abraham services just at the end of the M4.
Squirrels gather nuts for their long hibernation - an old Celtic word meaning “We won’t have to send any Christmas cards again this year.” - but humans don’t hibernate – although some policemen must do, because I haven’t seen one patrolling our road for years.
Most of us can cope with the long, dark day s, but thousands of people really dread Autumn as they suffer with Seasonal Affective Disorder.
S.A.D. is more than just feeling cheesed-off that it’s been raining since breakfast. It’s like a cloud constantly hanging over you.
Sunlight can stimulate a part of the brain called the hypothalamus and there is a theory that S.A.D.is caused by reduced exposure to sunlight in the Autumn and Winter months, which can affect people’s moods, appetite and sleep.
And you always thought my ramblings were just thrown together.....
In particularly bad cases, people are helped by a light box. It’s not a box that doesn’t weigh very much. It radiates day-light equivalent illumination.
But there are simpler ways to combat S.A.D. If it’s the weekend and the weather is cold but dry, wrap up and take a walk in the park, even if it’s just for half-an-hour.
The fresh air and exercise will really improve your mood and your health.
For working S.A.D. sufferers, a hectic, stimulating day can take their mind off the problem. If they’re retired, a cheap, effective way of combating S.A.D. is to pop into a warm, brightly-lit supermarket, sit in the cafe with a hot drink and a ‘paper and watch the hustle and bustle for a while - better than sitting in the house alone watching Jeremy Kyle.
S.A.D. sufferers should swap depressing TV soaps for comedy shows & films and go to comedy clubs. If they have children or grand-children, they should take them to a pantomime filled with silly slapstick and witty wordplay.
When S.A.D. threatens to spoil your life, laughter can be the best medicine.
But for chronic indigestion, Gaviscon’s much more effective.

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Picture the scene. Mid afternoon, minding my own business, sitting in my favourite coffee shop, the weather increasingly dark and dismal.
Just as I'm about to pull out my healthy bag of acorns to accompany my organic tea with soya milk, I happen to look up and glance around me at what is going on at everybody else's tables.
A strange ritual has begun. I like to think of it as Carbtober.
It's the time of year where everyone feels the need to eat as much as they can. Has it hit you yet? We are behaving like squirrels.
What happens to our bodies at this time of year that we feel the need to constantly eat comfort food? It's almost as if we’re getting ready to hibernate.
Just for the record I took one last look around the coffee shop and felt extremely left out. A few cakes, packet of biscuits and a cappuccino later, I was heading back to my cave to Cwtsh down until next March.

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The tabloids, news and radio interviews continue to be shocking, labouring on the negatives and therefore magnifying doom and gloom, which in turn makes us feel low and powerless. Is this what they want to achieve? I can't help but feel that this is a time for strong leadership, even if this means a cull of the non contributors. In case you hadn't noticed I am referring to the people who should be leading us.
At this rate there will be a big price to pay next May.
Mr Farage is demonstrating some classic leadership techniques and the public are starting to pay attention.
I'm not a fan of his, but he is a great tactician and interesting to observe. Public confidence is low and getting lower and history has demonstrated that this is when people change for change sake.
Dangerous times for sure.
Cracks have been appearing and getting wider. Here we might just have history in the making.
Maybe a new party is exactly what we need to shake things up a bit and instil a more positive outlook.
The Cwtsh Party may not be as daft as some first thought...

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales