The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk

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What can we do with the selfie-obsessed?

When I recently visited London for the first time in almost a year I couldn’t believe how tourist behaviour had changed.
Instead of taking photographs of their family/friends in front of famous landmarks, most visitors were taking ‘selfies’ using ‘selfie sticks’.
It doesn’t just occur in London.
This ever-growing madness of taking selfies goes on everywhere . . . maybe in your neighbourhood.
So be vigilant!
Because selfie-takers are narcissists who don’t consider that taking pointless selfie-after-selfie of themselves in the same position is annoying to people around them.
I know you like me to give you an example . . .
A friend of mine went to see the “Peter Pan” pantomime at Cardiff’s New Theatre during the last week of the run.
The pantomime was excellent, but before the curtain was raised he was unintentionally involved in a pre-show show.
Two very excitable (i.e. annoying) young women in the row immediately in front of him took at least 20 selfies of themselves using a mobile phone that utilised a flash mode, like an old-style camera.
So, every time they put their empty heads together to take another selfie he had to suffer this bright flash.
They did exactly the same during the interval.
Why? So they could look at all the ‘photos later and say, “That’s us sat in a theatre. That’s also us sat in a theatre. And that one is . . . us sat in a theatre!”
The official dictionary definition of a ‘Selfie’ is . . .
“A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and shared via social media.”
While the dictionary definition of “Selfish” is . . .
“Of a person, action, or motive lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.”
Which not only neatly describes the ‘look at me’ brigade addicted to selfies, it also adds weight to my unofficial definition of a ‘Selfie Stick’ . . .
“A big piece of wood that people not addicted to taking pointless photographs of themselves every minute of the day should be legally entitled to bring down heavily on the heads of those self-obsessed individuals who are.”

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Winter escape:

This week’s column has come to you from the top of a glacier in Gressoney, a beautiful part of Italy.
The views are breath-taking and this puts me in the ideal mood to come up with some creative writing without any distractions.
We are 2,608 metres above sea level, snow has fallen almost every day for the past month and continues to do so.
Transportation is good, buses and cars are running as normal.
The local shops are well stocked with fresh food.
Bread and milk are in abundance and there is no sign of any panic buying.
The temperature here is well below freezing, but the local residents and visitors alike are thoroughly enjoying the winter season and all that it brings.
Clearly, if this was happening back home, we would all be in shut down mode and a state of chaos and panic.
Right, that’s enough taking the piste, I’m off to build a snowman!

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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