The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk


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What age is it?

This world has struggled through many different Ages.
Millions of years ago we had the Ice Age, followed by (wearing a bearskin and thermal boxer shorts) the Stone Age, which was replaced by the Iron Age.
The 18th Century was referred to as The Age Of Enlightenment because of advances in politics, philosophy, science and communications across Europe.
That seems a very long time ago.
Today, as I look at what’s happening everywhere from the White House to Downing Street to my street, I get the feeling that The Age Of Enlightenment has been replaced by The Age Of Stupid.
Where to begin?
Some time ago I wrote about the idiotic trend for grown men to wear shorts all year round, even when the temperature’s below freezing.
What gets into them?
Apart from hypo-thermia?
I said they looked ridiculous and – in the case of the over-70s – they should do us a favour and cover up their pale, bony legs.
My opinions are so influential, that this January I saw more men in shorts on the streets than ever before!
And, as they walked around with that ‘Hey Girls! Look at how macho I am!’ swagger, they were, to a man, all wearing woolly bobble hats!
A bobble hat, coat and trousers combination looks fine.
A bobble hat and shorts combination looks comical.
It must be a new expression: Cold knees . . . warm head!
Then, there’s the women who think it’s okay to go supermarket shopping wearing pyjamas, slippers and a dressing gown.
If you dare criticise them, they complain that you shouldn’t be looking at them.
They’re too thick to understand the word ‘slovenly’ and that their behaviour wouldn’t have been tolerated 10/20 years ago.
You could make a small fortune by renting out the enormous space between their ears as warehouse storage.
I usually avoid mentioning politics, but as I’m writing about the Age Of Stupid, it seems that many of the ‘Great And The Good’ decided that (although the majority of the British public voted to leave the EU) simply because they don’t agree with the result, they’re doing all they can to stop it happening.
What a cheek!
If this was a South American country the people who voted to leave would have started a revolution.
Here, they just close the curtains and switch on the National Ant And Dec Awards.
Now tell me this isn’t the Age Of Stupid!

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Have they been after you yet?

Over the past week I've been bombarded with summer holiday offers and special deals at a rate of three a day.
This is no exaggeration.
My email inbox, Facebook account and Twitter feeds seem to be coming up with fascinating offers to tempt me, from both the big household names to some I'm sure have just been set up in someone's front room, such as Gr8 Holidays 4 U and Flyjetsunbargains R Us.
In all fairness to them, they are putting their sales and marketing machines to good use and offering deals and destinations that are extremely tempting.
However, I do detect an element of desperation in their urgency at this time.
Either that, or I'm getting more cynical with age.
But as I write, the weather is cold and damp with more rain on the way and the thought of a walk along the beach in a warm and sunnier climate is quite appealing as I apply my Deep Heat to my aching joints.
I'm all for a bargain holiday, but do I wait and book closer to the date or book early and take the so called offers now being presented?
What do you think?

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Buy local:

It continues to frustrate me to see local businesses and shops within our towns struggling to make a living.
Local small businesses (many of them family-run for generations) have been a part of our culture from as far back as many of us can remember.
But, we are now witnessing a staggering decline.
More can be done, and should be done, to support our local communities.
We can all play a part in this.
Our local councils should step up to the mark and make towns more accessible with cheaper if not free parking, which will enable our local traders to stand a fighting chance against the retail giants.
When a local business closes down, it rarely comes back and this is something that can clearly be seen in the towns and villages around us.
The character and community spirit is being eroded in our towns and many of us are watching this happen as if it doesn't matter.
Well, let me tell you – it does matter.
And we can up our game and make more of an effort to buy locally and demonstrate our commitment to keeping the heart of our culture and communities alive.

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk 

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