The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.



I enjoy a good film either, at the cinema or at home on my giant 12-inch, black and white telly with its state-of-the-art on/off switch.
Certain films, thanks to the rare alchemy of a first-class cast, script, direction and cinematography, can never be bettered – like “The Magnificent Seven”; “Mary Poppins”; “The Dam Busters”; “An American Werewolf in London” and “Ben-Hur”.
It would take a foolish man to consider remaking any of them.
Unfortunately, Hollywood is full of foolish men.
All the above films are either being re-made or are ready to be released.
The 1959 “Ben-Hur” won 11 Oscars and boasted an all-star cast, including Charlton Heston, Hugh Griffith and Jack Hawkins, plus dozens of familiar character actors in support.
The 2016 version stars Jack Huston and Toby Kebbell.
No . . . me neither.
The 1959 version used massive sets and thousands of extras – particularly in the famous chariot-race.
The 2016 version features a lot of CGI (Computer Generated Imagery).
I could go on. As you well know . . .
With so many great books screaming out to be adapted to the screen and thousands of new scripts written every year, it seems pointless remaking something that’s perfect.
Which brings me to the BBC’s current obsession with making new versions of classic sitcoms.
I know they’re celebrating “Sixty Years of BBC Sitcoms”, but what is the point of making new versions of 30 or 40-year old sitcoms (at the moment just one-offs) with new casts, when the originals are so much better?
And the reason they’re better is: they were original!
I wasn’t a huge fan of the original “Are You Being Served” but whenever I tuned in, it always made me chuckle.
Yes it was full of double entendres and outrageous characters, but the show amused 18 million viewers every week.
The recent remake (updated to 1988) was penned by the writer of “Benidorm”, which is usually tucked away well after the watershed.
So no surprise that halfway through the 2016 version, double-entendres were suddenly replaced by single-entendres about . . . well, seek it out for yourself, whenever ‘You’re free’!
In the mildly amusing “Porridge” remake that followed, Fletch’s ‘Jack The Lad’ grandson shared a cell with an old lag – a clever reversal of the Fletch/Godber dynamic.
Which reminds me, I know someone who went to prison for pouring Domestos over a vicar.
He’s doing two years for a bleach of the priest.
I’m here every Wednesday.


Just capture that magic:

My good friend and official show photographer, Rob Jones from Porthcawl, has taught me many valuable lessons over the years and is a firm believer that magic moments and memories must be captured and recorded on a regular basis.
At long last I'm now beginning to understand the importance of capturing memories of special occasions, family, friends and events that have helped shape us and turn us into the people we are today.
Looking back has so many benefits and often helps us relive feelings of joy and reflect on the good times and sometimes of the people that we now so dearly miss.
Like everything else though, there is always a down side.
Like the hair cut, clothes and in my case a slimmer version.
With dementia become more of a concern to many families, taking a trip down memory lane whilst looking through old photos can be such a blessing and often provide that much needed relief to the pain and suffering attached to this debilitating condition.
We may not yet have a cure for dementia but our minds can still benefit and be stimulated by pictures of days gone by.


The deep sleep:

Sleep. We all need a good night’s sleep to recharge the batteries and to maintain good health. How else will our bodies repair?
Some of you reading this will, without doubt have a few sleep challenges, which can range from insomnia, not needing much sleep, to needing more sleep than most.
But for me, it's vivid dreams on an extremely regular basis.
This could be down to the fact I have an over active mind or the fact that I don't relax or unwind before bed time.
Either that or there could be a much more serious underlying cause. Who knows?
One thing is for sure, my disturbed dreams could easily be part of a documentary on the subject of sleep and the source of many after dinner stories. In fact I could easily dine out on my back catalogue of vivid dream for many years to come.
The good thing is, I stopped sleep walking many years back, but if you do spot me walking the streets in my pyjamas late at night, don't wake me up just point me in the right direction home.
Thanks in advance.


You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and


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