The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk


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Mysteriously disappeared:

To find new material, comedians and comedy writers constantly view the world from a different vantage point to most people.
We step back and observe people’s peculiarities, quirks and attitudes.
Then, through hours of concentration, inspiration and perspiration, we turn our observations into routines.
The only way to tell whether they’re comedy gold or unfunny, self-indulgence is to perform them in front of an audience.
Scary!
And you thought being a comedian was easy.
One major side-effect of constantly being an ‘outside observer’ is that it opens your eyes to things going on around you that other people have missed.
For example, I bet you didn’t know that several years ago, while we all slept, the (relatively) sane world we grew up in mysteriously disappeared.
It was replaced overnight by a new world almost identical to the old one, except that behaviour and attitudes that had previously been considered bizarre were now considered acceptable – in some cases aspirational – by millions of seemingly normal people.
Desperate attention seekers who by rights should have remained hidden away within the padded walls of their abodes, unaccountably became admired, rich celebrities - either by dressing and behaving so outrageously they conned a gullible public into believing that everything they do must be touched with genius, or by being blessed with industrial-strength brass nerve and good luck.
How else can you explain why Bjork, a woman whose voice makes the sound of broken fingernails being scraped down a blackboard sound like a soothing lullaby, has been able to hoodwink people into believing she can sing?
TV Land is awash with egotistical presenters.
We really didn’t need any more.
Then, suddenly, the exceedingly unlikeable, failed newspaper editor Piers Morgan was elevated from nonentity status to became a judge on “Britain’s Got Talent” and “America’s Got Talent” and now he’s on breakfast TV, laughing at his own ‘witticisms’ for a living.
There’s more...
I’m completely and utterly baffled why ‘artist’ Grayson Perry so frequently appears on TV with rouged cheeks and red lipstick, wearing a frilly Alice-blue gown with a matching blue bow in his curly blonde wig, without reducing anyone who’s sat near him to uncontrollable laughter.
As no-one else will come out and say it, allow me.
The man looks flippin’ ridiculous!
Still need convincing our normal world wasn’t replaced by the off-kilter one we live in now?

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RIP Gene:

As Willy Wonka, Gene Wilder sang “Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination”.
Whenever you watched a Gene Wilder film he transported you to a world of pure joy.
It’s been such a terrible year for celebrity deaths that when I first heard that he’d passed away, although I realised we’d lost a comedy great, I was so involved in something else at the time I didn’t dwell on it.
Later, as I watched the tributes to him on TV, I was hit by the sad reality that the loveable, frizzy-haired actor whose performances we’ve enjoyed for decades, will never make another film or TV appearance or step onto a stage again to entertain us.
Whenever he displayed his unique comedy talents in such diverse roles as the hysterically neurotic Leo Bloom in “The Producers” (“Give me my blue blankie!”); the monster-creator in “Young Frankenstein “(“It’s pronounced ‘Franken-steen”!); and the hapless would-be adulterer in “The Woman In Red”, the world seemed a better place for a little while.
We’ll miss you, Gene.

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The man in Rio:

I bet you didn't know this, but my good friend Robert Lloyd, Llanelli based media consultant, is in Rio for the Olympics and Paralympics. He kept that one quiet!
Who would have thought that Llanelli would have sent out such a talent to ensure the proper coverage of the games?
Judging by the regular snippets of information working their way to us via social media the man is mixing with the world’s greatest athletes and having access to all areas, thereby in an ideal position to report on the goings on behind the scenes, which without doubt will be a source of so many amazing stories in the weeks and months to come.
This has to be the ideal dream job for anyone who has a passion for sport.
There is no better way to experience the highs and lows of today's world class athletes.
But my spies have told me that he is more than just a bit home sick at this time.
It just goes to show that home is where the heart is and that every adventure must come to an end.
You can take the man out of Wales but you can't take Wales out of the man.
With a bit of luck he may even bring me back a fridge magnet!

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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