The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk


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IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT, THEN DON’T LIGHT THE FIRE!

If someone swore at you in the street, threatened you and insulted your character, you’d feel justifiably annoyed and upset.
You’d probably call the police and have him locked-up.
Depending on the size of the person in question, you might want to give him a ‘punch up the bracket’ as my Uncle Billy used to say in the rasping Cockney accent of an old Covent Garden costermonger with a face burnished from decades of working outside in all weathers.
We never understood why Billy spoke like that, because he was only 35 and a window-dresser from Aberystwyth.
Today, people don’t insult you in the street.
They do it through a laptop or smart phone via ‘social’ media.
Some of the ill-informed bile that’s unleashed on Twitter by trolls is nothing short of disgraceful.
But it’s not just anonymous keyboard junkies who let rip their unfiltered opinions on other people.
Charlotte Church - Voice of an Angel; Language Of A Docker - recently let rip with a turbo-charged, foul-mouthed rant about Nigel Farage on Twitter.
Her children must be so proud of her.
I’m apolitical and think it’s unwise to become publicly involved in either politics or religion – as I remarked to Carwyn Jones while dining with the Pope at the Archbishop of Canterbury’s two-up, two-down.
But staunch ‘Remainer’ Charlotte gave the world her opinion of Farage and his ambitions for the U.K. to leave the E.U.
Then surprise, surprise, the poor mite was ‘shocked’ to be criticised for it on Twitter.
I’m not condoning the vile threats she received, but surely common sense dictates that if you insult 17 million people who voted for Brexit, some of them are going to feel peeved.
On her Facebook page, she said:
"Maybe I shouldn't have lowered myself to calling Farage names but the messages of abuse and threats I'm getting are horrifying.
"I’ll be reporting them to the police. I understand many of us have different opinions on this but let's try and stem this swell of hate.”

In her desire to be seen as the offended party, Ms Church chose to ignore that she was the one who created this particular ‘swell of hate’.
I use social media all the time, but I never abuse it and choose my words very carefully.
And none of them would upset The Pope or the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Carwyn Jones?
Well, maybe!
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Bad advertising:

In my job, I do a lot of driving up and down the country and much of this time is spent on motorways, where you really have to have your wits about you.
It seems to me that the nation’s driving is getting worse; everyone seems to be in a rush.
Now then, here is one thing that never fails to amaze me.
A few times recently I have been happily travelling along within the speed limit and out of nowhere, right behind me appears someone who is in much more of a rush than the rest of the universe.
I can't see their number plate as they are so close.
When they pass me, I can clearly see the likes of ‘Bob’s Plastering Service’, ‘Pete’s Plumbing’, accompanied by their email address and contact number.
Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but driving like an absolute plonker while advertising your contact details on your van is not the ideal way to promote your business, is it?
Just a thought.

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Llangwm:

Last week’s highlight for me was performing my Phil Evans and Friends show at the Llangwm Festival in Pembrokeshire.
This was the sixth time I had been invited back to perform a comedy evening in this beautiful part of Wales, in a village community where everyone knows each other and continues to pull together for the benefit of the community as a whole.
It was like stepping back in time to the way that towns and villages used to engage with each other many years ago.
The age range was from 16 to 80 and, luckily for us as performers, we were able to tickle the funny bones of every generation and our efforts were truly appreciated.
The community spirit in many parts of the country is not always as good as we witnessed last weekend but so much can be gained by a handful of determined people pulling together for the benefit of all to make a difference in the community, thereby setting an example for future generations.
We are writing the Christmas show now in readiness for special venues such as Llangwm.
Yes, Christmas. Yes, only 23 more weeks to go!

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk 

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