The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.


We won’t get fooled again . . . will we?

We all have our favourite old sayings - or ‘maxims’ as they’re referred to in some circles and one or two London squares.
Here’s one of mine . . .
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and have it confirmed.”
Mind you, that’s not the best advice for a comedian when you consider the original name of someone whose job it was to tickle the funny-bones of ancient Kings and Queens was a ‘fool’.
Comedians aside, nobody wants to be thought of as being foolish or stupid.
“Oh, I’ve been such a fool!” they say and get all worked-up about what other people might think.
Why? I’ve always thought that worrying about appearing to be stupid is in itself pretty stupid, because it’s inevitable that we’ll do and say stupid things.
Even the Queen of England has the odd stupid day when, her mind reeling with affairs of State and what to cook Phillip for his tea (“Please Liz! Not flippin’ sausage and chips again!”), she takes her crown for a walk and wears a corgi on her head.
Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it never happens.
Recently, visitors to the San Francisco Museum Of Modern Art were made to feel incredibly stupid because they’d been fooled into thinking a pair of black, horn-rimmed spectacles, placed on the floor of a gallery, was an art installation.
They gathered around the glasses, took photographs and in hushed tones, discussed the meaning of this minimalist exhibit.
Was it a comment on the limits of individual perception?
A reference to man’s short-sightedness with regard to climate change?
In fact, the glasses had been left on the floor, below an official-looking card, as a prank by two teenagers –Kevin Nguyen and T.J. Khayatan - to see what the reaction would be.
They decided to do this after they’d viewed several exhibits around the building that were so bizarre, they questioned their artistic merits.
After puzzling over why the museum owners thought these oddities worthy of display, they came up with the simple but effective ‘glasses’ idea.
It reminds me of the time I visited the National Museum of Wales and was so impressed by one exhibit’s vivid colour and clever symmetry, I asked a staff member what it was.
He looked me up and down and said, “That, sir, is what’s known as a fire extinguisher!”


Muhammad Ali:

To the long list of celebrities who’ve passed away in 2016, we add the name of Muhammad Ali aka The Greatest.
If boxers are modern gladiators, then he can easily be compared to the legendary Spartacus.
Not only did Ali display exceptional skill and boundless courage in the arena, he freed a huge number of people from the shackles of prejudice and repression.
Yes, some of the things he said and did were controversial, but his charisma, outspokenness and frequent public declarations of his own greatness – often done with his tongue firmly in his cheek - were qualities that made him attractive to the media and showbiz world for decades.
His fans included Presidents and entertainers – and at his funeral in his home town of Louisville, Kentucky, eulogies will be read by Billy Crystal and Bill Clinton.
Not all that he stood for was considered acceptable, but he had an unshakable belief system which no doubt assisted him in becoming a world class athlete and a man of considerable influence.
He suffered defeat in his sporting and personal life, but always fought back like the true champion that he was.


Up, up and away . . .

Why is there such a need to make everything bigger?
I’m writing this week’s column from a London hotel in readiness for a business trip to Vancouver, flying from Heathrow tomorrow.
I was happy up until this morning – then my companion for this trip informed me that we are flying on the new Airbus A380.
At first, this didn't mean a thing to me.
Then, I discovered on the internet something that made my stomach turn.
It appears that this is the biggest passenger airline in the world.
I'm not a big fan of flying. Well, my arms get tired for a start.
I watched a video of this huge double-decker aircraft take off and land and its sheer size made it hard to imagine that such a thing can stay up in the air and land safely.
From what I can see, the wings are about the same size as the Swansea Airport runway.
I have already halved the contents of my suitcase to give this winged beast a better chance of staying up in the air.
Wish me luck!


You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and


Popular posts from this blog

New appointment at Bay TV Swansea

There’s a new ‘master of the house’ at Llanelli’s No1 tourist attraction

Former Gower MP Gareth Wardell the guest speaker at Llanelli Rotary Club