The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk

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There are some very scary people in this world.
On Easter Sunday, I was sprawled in front of the telly....eating my chocolate egg....when suddenly the manager of Curry’s/PC World came over and yelled at me to get out!
Only joking!
But it was no joke on Easter Monday when I opened my chocolate egg and noticed that the packaging didn’t actually mention Easter - just ‘Chocolate Egg’, as if the manufacturers were embarrassed to include the word ‘Easter’ in case it upset potential buyers for whom Easter had no meaning.
Which is crazy!
Confectioners make, advertise and sell chocolate eggs this time of year not because it’s Shrove Tuesday or National Meat Pie Week.
But because....it’s Easter!
And they’re shaped like an egg because, depending on your belief, it represents re-birth and the coming of Spring or Jesus rising from his tomb.
Children talk about ‘The Easter Bunny’; the holiday’s called ‘The Easter Weekend’; the Sunday is ‘Easter Sunday’; and for months the shops sold ‘Easter Cards’ – although not to me because I think they were cynically created by greetings card companies to make a few extra quid at their dead time of year, after Valentine’s Day.
All the clues are there, Sherlock.
If this trend continues, what might happen in the months leading up to December 25th?
Will shops, supermarkets and department stores coyly hang up signs that just say ‘Happy.....!’, leaving out the rather important word ‘Christmas’ so no one is offended?
Wait and see...
Talking of being offended, I certainly was when I read that at Easter, hospital A & E departments were over-run with people who’d made themselves ill by over-indulging.
In a Facebook page, South Tees Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust wrote: "People are coming into A and E with stomach aches caused by too many Easter eggs and a big Sunday dinner. You’ll feel better after a rest at home and drinking plenty of water”.
It’s a sad day when basic common sense has to be spelled out to a portion of the population
In addition to the puzzling popularity of ‘adult colouring books’, not realising that stuffing 10 large Easter Eggs into your cake hole will give you a pain in your belly is solid evidence that Britain’s being dumbed-down faster than the speed of light.
As I say, there are some very scary people in this world....

R.I.P. Ronnie Corbett.
Now he’s gone there’s no time left for one extra news item....

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Theatre Felinfach:
The highlight of my weekend was performing at Theatre Felinfach near Lampeter.
Despite the fact that Saturday was another wet, windy and cold day, the locals came out to enjoy a night of comedy and to support live entertainment in an extremely well run local community theatre.
What struck me was the fact that the staff and organisers behind the scenes were so passionate, welcoming and grateful for the support of its customers – and the positive energy could be felt instantly in this diamond of a venue.
Could this be the secret to maintaining a community theatre and keeping live entertainment vibrant in the heart of Wales and beyond?
I'm a big believer that success leaves clues and a lot of venues could learn from this popular local theatre.
To me, it's all about the people.
It's the people that make a difference, all the rest is just ‘stuff’.

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Star in the making:
Now, it's not very often I give a secret away, but I felt I had to give you the heads up on a rising star.
We all love a story where something positive comes from a sad situation, but after winning her category in the most recent Welsh Factor Final talent competition, writing and performing her own song, I feel I need to tell you to look out for the lovely and truly amazing Olivia Kneath.
I've discovered that Olivia was bullied at school, which can have a devastating effect on a young girl, but she bravely took it upon herself to learn to play the guitar, ukulele and keyboard with the help of her teachers at Birchgrove Comprehensive School, which gave her a positive outlook and helped to turn her life around.
Strangely, her talents have been unrecognised by other competitions as she has an unique way of presenting her original material.
Her confidence now shines through in every performance and I just have this feeling we are going to be hearing a lot from Olivia in the future!
Don't forget, you heard it here first!

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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