The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk


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“AND THE WINNER IS...MY UNCLE SELWYN.”

Were you bowled over by the BAFTAs?
Will you be eagerly ogling the OSCARS?
If watching actors and directors win ornaments that’ll probably end up as door stops doesn’t float your boat, perhaps you find the BRITS a blast or prefer to be grabbed by the GRAMMYS. (Insert your own joke there...)
However, if you’re bored by award ceremonies, you’d better unplug your telly for the next month or so.
Otherwise, as you keep pressing your remote control in the forlorn hope you’ll find a programme or film you haven’t seen at least twice before, chances are you’ll come across a back-slapping, star-sprinkled awards ceremony.
We’re now well into “The Awards Season” when trophies are handed out like sweets. Except in diet-conscious Hollywood, where they’re handed out like shaved carrots.
Apart from those I’ve mentioned, already this year we’ve had the Screen Actors Guild Awards, the Golden Globes, the Evening Standard Film Awards and one that was – like the now seemingly defunct British Comedy Awards – originally created purely to fill a two-hour TV slot...The National Television Awards.
It’s amazing how the diminutive duo Ant and Dec manage to pick up a NTA every year, when you consider the award is exactly the same size and weight as them!
Among those still to come this year are the Olivier Awards, the television BAFTAS and the Welsh BAFTAs.
You might think the annual Cardiff-based ceremony is a poor relation to the glitzy, televised affair at London’s Royal Opera House which is packed with Tinsel Town A-listers flown in for the occasion.
But while it’s unlikely that George Clooney, Steven Spielberg or Nicole Kidman might take a National Express coach down the M4 to attend, I’ve been told by friends who’ve been to the Welsh BAFTAs that they’re very special nights, celebrating the incredible talent we have in Wales.
When it comes to excellence in TV and Film production, the Welsh punch well above their weight - especially after a few Friday night pints.
Maybe one year I’ll be invited, which will give me an excuse to send my tuxedo to the cleaners to have the Millennium New Year’s Eve party stains removed.
No one enjoys award ceremonies more than my Uncle Selwyn.
Not that he’s especially interested in films or television.
But he does own the company that manufactures gold envelopes for every award ceremony around the world.
Which makes him a winner...every year!

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Italy:
As I write this next item I'm sitting in a small cafe at the top of a mountain in Italy.
It's 9.30am, the sky is bright blue, pure white snow can be seen for miles across the beautifully unspoilt landscape and I'm looking down on the clouds in the valley below.
It doesn't get any better than this.
Pure air and a place I have found to bring out the creativity in me.
Well as soon as I've managed to warm up my feet and defrost the icicles on my nose.
And another thing – despite all the snow there is no disruption, businesses are running as usual and people are going about their lives without any delays.
No one is rushing to buy 20 loaves of bread and there is plenty of milk on the shelves in the local shop.
If this snow arrived back in Wales, there would be mayhem.

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Pampered Pooches:
We have become a nation of obsessed pet owners. Some people are now clearly barking mad and have taken this obsession to new heights as I have just seen a chihuahua trotting down the pavement on a lead whilst dressed in a pink leather jacket and diamanté collar.
The evidence is clearly there. Walk through any city centre in Wales and you'll spot the pampered pooch.
I've got a feeling that many pet owners think more of their pet than of their partners.
But why is this?
I've come to the conclusion that it's because a dog won't argue or answer back, their love is unconditional and they never hold a grudge.
I think we should all be a bit more dog like, but I do draw the line at having to wear a diamanté collar!
I’m not saying no to the pink leather jacket quite yet though, I think pink can be quite slimming in the right light.

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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