The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post


The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk

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He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot
And goodness knows, he didn't want a lot
He sent a note to Santa
For some soldiers and a drum
It broke his little heart
When he found Santa hadn't come


Those lyrics often run through my head at Christmas when I see people out shopping for presents, because I know there are households that Santa fails to visit.
This was proven last week, when the ‘papers quoted 13 poignant words spoken by a five-year old boy from the North of England who’d been taken into care because his mother and her partner had neglected him.
“Santa doesn’t come to my house. I don’t know why. I’ve been good.”
If those words don’t touch your heart, telephone the undertaker and ask him to collect you.
In my opinion, ‘neglected’ doesn’t come close to the way the child was treated.
I won’t go into the grim details of the appalling conditions he lived in, but he had no toys, didn’t know what a bath was for and had no idea how to wash himself. He didn’t even have a toothbrush.
Some children feel deprived without the latest gadget or designer trainers. This boy would wake on Christmas morning to find nothing at the end of his bed – not even a stocking filled with nuts, sweets and a Satsuma.
When I was growing up, my family were far from being well-off. But I knew how to wash myself, took baths, wore clean clothes and always had a shiny new annual and a bag of chocolate coins at Christmas.
The boy’s mother and her partner may have found life tough because they were on low wages or benefits. I’m not criticising people on benefits, because it only takes a few twists of fate and any one of us can slip down the financial slope and find we need to claim whatever’s available.
But with so many pound shops around, surely they could have bought some cheap toys, crayons, colouring books etc., which would have thrilled the little lad on Christmas morning?
Those same shops sell soap, shampoo, toothpaste and other basics – and there are retailers where you can kit out a child with T-shirts, trousers, shoes and coats for very little outlay. And caring parents, even those on low incomes, do just that.
The cruel way the boy had been treated was only discovered when he ran away from home.
Fortunately, he’s now in foster care and thriving, but when I think about the unimaginable squalor he’d been living in, a deep rage rises in me that I’ve rarely felt before. I just hope he’s begun a new, happier chapter in his life.
So, if you suspect that a child in your neighbourhood is being neglected, inform the authorities. If necessary say Phil Evans told you to.
If it’s a false alarm, I’ll take the flak.
It’ll be worth it to spare one more child saying...
“Santa doesn’t come to my house.”

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Crufts:
It appears that we are a nation of dog lovers. Whether you’ve got a mad muddy spaniel, a boisterous Labrador or a little Chihuahua tucked away in your handbag, you’ve got to admit they quickly become part of the family and to the point where we wouldn’t be without them.
Watching Crufts last week, I couldn’t quite believe some of the hairstyles and the amount of grooming that goes on to get those dogs into their showring condition!
The poodles looked like, well, trimmed garden hedges, one even had hair that wouldn’t have looked out of place on Diana Ross in the 70s!
It must take hours to get them looking that good; it takes me days to get bits of dried mince off the ends of my spaniel’s ears....
I can almost imagine the show dogs as they get home after Crufts, taking their bobbles out of their hair, throwing off their collar and slipping into their favourite comfy track suit, popping the TV on and catching up on the Crufts highlights with their paws up, relaxing.
Or is that just the way my mind works?

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Cookery:
There seem to be two things that we are rapidly losing the art of in today’s society, cooking and conversation.
In a way, I think the two go hand in hand.
When was the last time you can honestly say that you sat around the dinner table with the family and ate a home cooked meal, prepared from scratch and sat there for an hour or so enjoying food and catching up on what has happened during the day?
In reality, we seem to be grabbing fast food, and then everyone sits in separate rooms on their laptops, tablets, mobile phones and catches up with the world via social media.
We don’t have to talk to each other anymore. This makes me quite sad. I wonder how many of us ever taught our children to cook? How many of your children and grandchildren can make proper gravy?
Technology can be a wonderful thing, but I do wonder how many great traditions including cooking a meal from scratch and simply holding a conversation are being lost in the process?
Something to think about, eh?

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales
www.philevans.co.uk 

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