Quotes of the day April 25
"I was a member of a group called the Kissy Girls. I was very sexual in kindergarten. I created a game where I would kiss the boys. Then we would make out and we would take our clothes off. I got in a lot of trouble" - Angelina Jolie.
"Oxford didn't teach me anything, nothing at all" - Nobel Prize-winning author VS Naipaul.
"If they ever decide to sneak off and get married without us, me and Gav's mum and dad would kill them both" - Maria, mother of singer Charlotte Church who is engaged to Gavin Henson.
"Defence Secretary Des Browne really did say, 'I have expressed a degree of regret that could be equated with an apology'. People should be hanged for this kind of thing" - Political pundit and former Tory MP Matthew Parris.
"Plaskitt the Casket" - Nickname given to Work and Pensions Minister James Plaskitt who has been adjudged parliamentarian of the year by the National Association of Funeral Directors.
"Oxford didn't teach me anything, nothing at all" - Nobel Prize-winning author VS Naipaul.
"If they ever decide to sneak off and get married without us, me and Gav's mum and dad would kill them both" - Maria, mother of singer Charlotte Church who is engaged to Gavin Henson.
"Defence Secretary Des Browne really did say, 'I have expressed a degree of regret that could be equated with an apology'. People should be hanged for this kind of thing" - Political pundit and former Tory MP Matthew Parris.
"Plaskitt the Casket" - Nickname given to Work and Pensions Minister James Plaskitt who has been adjudged parliamentarian of the year by the National Association of Funeral Directors.
"I've never, ever, pawed a royal or a wannabe royal in a nightclub, not even Princess Michael of Kent" - Broadcaster Rod Liddle.
"You cannot keep your place in the one-day side just because you are a good captain or because you look elegant at the crease. A team of good-lookers won't win anything" - Former England batsman Geoff Boycott on Michael Vaughan.
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint" - Broadcaster Sandi Toksvig quoting Mark Twain.
"Robert Mugabe has murdered more black Africans than the entire South African apartheid regime. A black state murdering black citizens does not, apparently, merit the same outrage as a white state murdering black citizens" - Peter Tatchell, human rights campaigner.
"It was teen heaven. Sex, crude jokes, embarrassing confrontations with one's body in the throes of puberty, lustful consummations with bad girls and older women, romantic liaisons with good girls who are hot, hot, hot" - Film-maker Ken Russell discussing the movies, etc, of the 1980s.
"You cannot keep your place in the one-day side just because you are a good captain or because you look elegant at the crease. A team of good-lookers won't win anything" - Former England batsman Geoff Boycott on Michael Vaughan.
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint" - Broadcaster Sandi Toksvig quoting Mark Twain.
"Robert Mugabe has murdered more black Africans than the entire South African apartheid regime. A black state murdering black citizens does not, apparently, merit the same outrage as a white state murdering black citizens" - Peter Tatchell, human rights campaigner.
"It was teen heaven. Sex, crude jokes, embarrassing confrontations with one's body in the throes of puberty, lustful consummations with bad girls and older women, romantic liaisons with good girls who are hot, hot, hot" - Film-maker Ken Russell discussing the movies, etc, of the 1980s.
"They can have all the money in the world but they've got no class" - Jordan on the way Elizabeth Hurley dresses her son.
"I've got big flaring nostrils and I snort when I laugh" - Coleen McLoughlin, Wayne Rooney's girlfriend, who says she resembles the late Carry On star Kenneth Williams.
"I am fed up with celebrity politics. Ken Livingstone sums up much of what I dislike about it. He struts the stage of London as if he were the Foreign Secretary, creating a series of diplomatic nightmares with our friends" - Tory MP John Redwood.
"I can feel David Cameron's pain" - Ken Livingstone, Mayor of London, offering to seek re-election as a joint Tory/Labour candidate after the "fiasco" of Greg Dyke invited to stand as a joint Tory/Lib Dem candidate.
"Sir Terry Leahy runs Tesco at a staggering daily profit. Gordon Brown, in contrast, could not run a street-corner sweet shop and make a profit. Shouldn't they swap places?" - Author Frederick Forsyth.
"I am going to change his emotional life for the better for ever" - Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia on her boyfriend Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik.
"I hope we haven't got to the stage in British politics where having a personality is regarded as a crime. I'd make a sense of humour mandatory" - Lembit Opik.
"I had a wee problem with the old barleycorn. I decided I didn't want to be depressed for the rest of my life" - Actor Sir Anthony Hopkins on giving up drink.
"I saw Tony Blair on TV the other day. Who does he think he is, the Prime Minister?" - Brian Fletcher, of Scarborough, North Yorkshire, in a letter to the Daily Mail.
"Racism here is not on the rise. Public feeling is directed against government failure to stop so many entering this country. It passes belief that a government traditionally supportive of the poor could so ignore the impact that heavy immigration has on them" - Conservative peer Lord Deedes.
"The problem with the Government is that they behave like an opposition - it is all gimmicks and headlines and nothing ever happens" - Tory leader David Cameron.
"We can take some comfort from last week's food scare. Bacon, a product for which Denmark is famous, can apparently cause lung disease and may well be one of the biggest killers in the world. That should wipe the smile off their faces" - Jeremy Clarkson on the poll which shows that the Danes are the happiest people in the world.
"I have one advantage over my sisters; I'm a class traitor. I'd been to a single-sex public school where people behaved badly so, no, it didn't" - Labour MP Fiona Mactaggart, daughter of a Tory baronet, saying that, unlike many women MPs, she was not troubled by Tory jeers in the Commons.
"You must have a big dog" - What a Labour supporter said to former Tory MP Edwina Currie when she was spotted at a reception piling uneaten food into a large plastic bag.
"It's one of the advantages of living in such a thoroughly criminal society. You are never short of stimulation" - Best-selling novelist Donna Leon who says she gets her plots from crime stories in Italian newspapers.
"He is still my best friend and, incidentally, an accomplished athlete, musician and sexy beast" - Stephen Fry on fellow actor Hugh Laurie.
"British politics is changing even faster than our climate" - Michael Portillo, former Tory Cabinet Minister.
"The reason I went to the shows was to get the free stuff. How much is there? Loads" - Singer Lily Allen visits the French fashion catwalks.
"America - I mean, that's the No 1 court at Wimbledon" - Eddie Izzard on his show-business ambitions.
"I've been spitting on paparazzi for two years. Paparazzi are not fans. I would never treat my fans with disrespect. These are annoying guys who follow me around every night and wait around for me. It gets stupid" - Singer Avril Lavigne.
"I've never had that sort of romantic belief in soulmates. I think it's all about timing. Getting married is insanity; I mean, it's a risk - who knows if you're going to be together forever?" - Cate Blanchett.
"I've got big flaring nostrils and I snort when I laugh" - Coleen McLoughlin, Wayne Rooney's girlfriend, who says she resembles the late Carry On star Kenneth Williams.
"I am fed up with celebrity politics. Ken Livingstone sums up much of what I dislike about it. He struts the stage of London as if he were the Foreign Secretary, creating a series of diplomatic nightmares with our friends" - Tory MP John Redwood.
"I can feel David Cameron's pain" - Ken Livingstone, Mayor of London, offering to seek re-election as a joint Tory/Labour candidate after the "fiasco" of Greg Dyke invited to stand as a joint Tory/Lib Dem candidate.
"Sir Terry Leahy runs Tesco at a staggering daily profit. Gordon Brown, in contrast, could not run a street-corner sweet shop and make a profit. Shouldn't they swap places?" - Author Frederick Forsyth.
"I am going to change his emotional life for the better for ever" - Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia on her boyfriend Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik.
"I hope we haven't got to the stage in British politics where having a personality is regarded as a crime. I'd make a sense of humour mandatory" - Lembit Opik.
"I had a wee problem with the old barleycorn. I decided I didn't want to be depressed for the rest of my life" - Actor Sir Anthony Hopkins on giving up drink.
"I saw Tony Blair on TV the other day. Who does he think he is, the Prime Minister?" - Brian Fletcher, of Scarborough, North Yorkshire, in a letter to the Daily Mail.
"Racism here is not on the rise. Public feeling is directed against government failure to stop so many entering this country. It passes belief that a government traditionally supportive of the poor could so ignore the impact that heavy immigration has on them" - Conservative peer Lord Deedes.
"The problem with the Government is that they behave like an opposition - it is all gimmicks and headlines and nothing ever happens" - Tory leader David Cameron.
"We can take some comfort from last week's food scare. Bacon, a product for which Denmark is famous, can apparently cause lung disease and may well be one of the biggest killers in the world. That should wipe the smile off their faces" - Jeremy Clarkson on the poll which shows that the Danes are the happiest people in the world.
"I have one advantage over my sisters; I'm a class traitor. I'd been to a single-sex public school where people behaved badly so, no, it didn't" - Labour MP Fiona Mactaggart, daughter of a Tory baronet, saying that, unlike many women MPs, she was not troubled by Tory jeers in the Commons.
"You must have a big dog" - What a Labour supporter said to former Tory MP Edwina Currie when she was spotted at a reception piling uneaten food into a large plastic bag.
"It's one of the advantages of living in such a thoroughly criminal society. You are never short of stimulation" - Best-selling novelist Donna Leon who says she gets her plots from crime stories in Italian newspapers.
"He is still my best friend and, incidentally, an accomplished athlete, musician and sexy beast" - Stephen Fry on fellow actor Hugh Laurie.
"British politics is changing even faster than our climate" - Michael Portillo, former Tory Cabinet Minister.
"The reason I went to the shows was to get the free stuff. How much is there? Loads" - Singer Lily Allen visits the French fashion catwalks.
"America - I mean, that's the No 1 court at Wimbledon" - Eddie Izzard on his show-business ambitions.
"I've been spitting on paparazzi for two years. Paparazzi are not fans. I would never treat my fans with disrespect. These are annoying guys who follow me around every night and wait around for me. It gets stupid" - Singer Avril Lavigne.
"I've never had that sort of romantic belief in soulmates. I think it's all about timing. Getting married is insanity; I mean, it's a risk - who knows if you're going to be together forever?" - Cate Blanchett.
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