The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk

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FARMERS – ARE THEY IN A FIELD OF THEIR OWN?

There’s countless things we can do to make ourselves feel good.
I’m not exaggerating. They really are countless, so don’t try countig them all because by the time you’ve finished, you’ll be feeling less than good.
Which will defeat the point of the exercise.
Personally I’ve always believed there’s no point in exercise.
But I digress...
Here’s some examples of things we can do to feel good.
We could go for a stroll through our beautiful countryside.
We could make a donation to charity.
We could indulge in one of life’s greatest, yet simplest pleasures. No, not the one you’re thinking of. I’m referring to a cup of tea and some cake.
Or we could do all three things at the same time.
“But how is this possible?” I hear you ask.
And in reply I say “Don’t jump the gun and be patient!”.
I hadn’t heard of Open Farm Sunday until recently, even though when it comes around on June the 5th it will be for the eleventh time in as many years.
Open Farm Sunday is the one day a year when farmers open their gates to the public, allowing them a rare glimpse into the day-to-day running of a working farm.
The first Open Farm Day attracted 30,000 visitors.
Last year’s attracted 291,000!
Over 200 farms take part in this annual event and if you want to find out where the closest one is to you, just visit the website www.openfarmsunday.org and put in your postcode.
One Carmarthenshire farm opening to the public on June the 5th from 11.00 a.m. to 4.00 pm is in Esgair, Llanpumsaint.
The owners, Nicky and Martin, will allow visitors in to see their cattle and pigs, learn about growing barley, view the vintage combine harvester, enjoy a walk around the farm, take in the views and see how they manage their hedgerows to benefit wildlife.
And when you’re worn out from all these activities, you can enjoy a cuppa and a Welsh Cake.
Entry is free, but if you’d like to make a donation to Macmillan Cancer Care – and why wouldn’t you? – it would be greatly appreciated.
So on June the 5th treat yourselves to a taste of life down on the farm.
But don’t forget to close the gate when you leave!
There’s only one way to finish this item - with “The Archers” theme.
All together now....
Rum-tee-tum-tee-tum-tee-tum
Rum-tee-tum-tee-dah-da!h

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True salesmanship:

Having suffered a slight knock-back by not receiving a personal invitation to The Queen’s 90th birthday party (I blame the postal service for this one, therefore won't take it too personally) some retail therapy was needed.
I needed something to help me relax, unwind and to enjoy the summer heatwave that is destined for Wales this year.
Heatwave? Well, that’s according to my sources at the BBC in Cardiff; we live in hope!
Off I went to look at bikes and to treat myself to something comfortable, shiny and with a roar that made the hairs at the back of your neck stand up.
Within about three minutes of my arrival at JT’s motorcycles Swansea showroom, they had me sitting on an engineering masterpiece while daydreaming of long winding roads through Wales with the wind in my face and not a traffic jam in sight.
And that's what it was like on Sunday while riding through Aberystwyth, Devil’s Bridge and the spectacular Elan Valley.
More of this is needed, so where should I go next?

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Eurovision:

Well, the weekend came and went at an alarming speed once again.
How does that happen?
For many, Saturday night was spent in that good old traditional way, tuned in to The Eurovision Song Contest.
Personally, it's not the same without the grand master commentator, the late Terry Wogan. Without him, the magic has gone.
Social media went crazy for the 26 performers, with comments good and bad from all parts of the globe, which demonstrates that this long standing event clearly still commands a huge following.
Love it or hate it, people are still drawn to it and the whole production looks like there was no expense spared.
It was ‘showbiz’ at the highest level, despite the fact that not all the performers had the magic ingredients worthy of such a platform.
I failed to understand the new voting system and so did everyone else I asked.
Could the new system have been designed by Ian Duncan Smith? You know, the one he created to stop poor people receiving benefits?
Just asking?
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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk