The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post

The latest Phil Evans column from the South Wales Evening Post.
Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
www.philevans.co.uk

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WHAT’S ANOTHER YEAR?
The old song “Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think” definitely applies to me because my watch loses seven minutes every hour.
I’d get it fixed, but by the time I get to the jewellers, they’re always closed.
Tempus certainly does Fugit.
We’re almost half-way through 2015 and already many of the events marked on my calendar have gone - and the pencil I used to mark them. I’ll be visiting Argos again soon for a replacement.
I’ve already received e-mails advertising hotel breaks at Christmas and New Year!
But I’ve deleted them.
Don’t worry. You’ll still be able to tuck into a turkey dinner, watch another fight break-out in the Queen Vic and sing “Auld Lang Syne”. It was the e-mails I deleted...not Christmas and New Year.
Valentine’s Day, Eurovision, my annual bath....they all came and went so quickly - especially my bath, which only took three minutes, including towelling-off.
Talking of Eurovision, Johnny Logan won it for Ireland in 1980 with “What’s Another Year?“ - a terrific song which I heard on the radio several times prior to this year’s Eurovision Contest.
This year’s British entry was so hopeless, so obviously lacking a catchy ‘hook’, chorus or a decent ‘tune’ that you could hum, whistle (or do both at the same time if you’re a multi-tasker) it must have been chosen by a committee of tone-deaf music-haters specifically hired for their inability to recognise a colossal stinker of a song when they hear it.
No change there, then!
“What’s Another Year” is significant to me because, believe it or believe it not, I’ve been writing for this newspaper for 52 weeks!
And, boy, is my arm tired!
When I was first asked to pen a column for the South Wales Evening Post, I worried that I wouldn’t find enough subjects to write about every week.
Well, ideas came to me from listening to and observing people in the big wide world, the media, my world of stand-up comedy and the things good and bad that happened in ‘my own back yard’.
I’ve written about matters that annoyed me, interested me, amused me and shocked me.
Every week, facing that blank page was a challenge and I’d like to think that every week I rose to it.
Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings and ruminations.
So, now I’ve put this one to bed....what can I write about next week?

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Children today:

Walking through the one of the main shopping streets in Swansea this week made me realise that children today have so much more than when I was a lad.

Haven’t times changed so much?

Children with mobile phones are getting younger and younger.

The other day I saw a woman with a pushchair. Suddenly a voice came from under the blanket: 'Can’t talk now, I'm in the pram!'

Everybody and his dog have got mobile phones.

If you admit you haven’t got one, people look at you as if you’re from the Dark Ages.

Soon, when you use a call box, a big sign on top will flash, saying: 'Guess who hasn't got a mobile!'

I remember the time when somebody stole my daughter’s mobile phone. I was over the moon and didn’t bother reporting it - the bill was down by half that month. Saved me a fortune.

Anyway, got to go, meeting my Nan on Snapchat

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Paws for thought:

It was lovely to hear such a heart warming story this week about a group of teenagers from Morriston Comprehensive School who were walking through a local park when they came across a stray dog with an injured paw, looking very lost, tired and frightened.

We hear so many stories of cruelty to animals, that what happened next deserves praise indeed.  The group took the dog to one of their houses, fed him, tended to his paw and then took it in turns to look after him while calling around the relevant authorities to see if anyone had lost him.

As I write, nobody has claimed him, so he is still being cared for in turn by each of the group.

Well done guys, you are a credit to the community and such acts of kindness should be recognised.  Hopefully the dog will be reunited with his owner very soon.

150 Words

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and  www.philevans.co.uk